Book Review for Parents: Someone to Be With – Deidre Quinlan

For parents seeking a gentle, meaningful way to help their child understand emotions, connection, and the need for comfort, Someone to Be With is a wonderful companion to the Circle of Security Parenting (COSP) approach. This beautifully illustrated book brings COSP’s core ideas to life in a child-friendly, accessible format that supports emotional understanding at home.

What the Book Is About?

Someone to Be With introduces children to the fundamental COSP concept:Kids move between wanting to explore the world and needing to come back to their “secure base” for comfort, reassurance, or help.

Through simple storytelling and warm visuals, the book shows a caring adult being “bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind” offering support when needed while also encouraging safe exploration.

Why It’s Helpful for Children?

This story helps children understand their own emotional experiences by:

• Showing that all feelings: excitement, fear, sadness, or uncertainty are normal

• Teaching that it's okay to need closeness and comfort at times

• Helping them recognise when they feel ready to explore

• Encouraging language around needs (“Can you help me?” “I need you close.”)

In play therapy, this book often becomes a springboard for children to talk about big feelings and the moments they need connection.

Why Parents Appreciate It

Parents who use COSP or who simply want to deepen connection, love how this book:

• Creates a shared language between parent and child (“Are you at the top or the bottom of the circle right now?”)

• Helps make sense of children’s behaviour through a supportive, compassionate lens

• Reinforces secure attachment and emotional regulation

• Offers a gentle reminder that being present is more powerful than being perfect

It’s a great tool for families navigating transitions, anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or everyday connection needs.

How to Use It at Home?

To get the most benefit from the book, you can:

• Read it during calm moments to build understanding of the “circle”

• Refer back to the language throughout the day (“It looks like you need me on the bottom of the circle right now”)

• Use art or play to explore the idea, have your child draw their own “circle”

• Revisit the book during transitions like starting school or after challenging moments

Final Thoughts?

Someone to Be With is more than a story, it’s a connection tool that strengthens the parent–child relationship. By bringing COSP principles to life in a way that children easily understand, it empowers families to communicate, co-regulate, and grow together.

For parents looking to support emotional development and secure attachment, this book is a valuable and heartwarming addition to your home library.

Content developed with the assistance of ChatGPT, an AI language model by OpenAI. Adapted for this website by Humanistic Therapy Hub.