Raising Boys Through Play: A Book Review of Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph

Raising a boy in today’s world can feel like navigating uncharted waters. Between the pressures of school, emotional expression, and social expectations, many parents ask: How do I help my son grow into a kind, resilient, and emotionally healthy man?

One book that continues to offer clarity and heart-centered guidance is Steve Biddulph’s classic, Raising Boys. As a play therapy-informed practice, we often recommend this book to parents looking to better understand their sons and more importantly, to connect with them in meaningful, emotionally supportive ways.

What’s the Book About?

Raising Boys explores the psychological, emotional, and social development of boys from infancy through adolescence. Biddulph, a psychologist and father himself, speaks to parents with warmth, humour, and straight talk.

He outlines the three stages of boyhood, explains the critical need for strong male role models, and provides practical advice for nurturing emotional strength—not just toughness.

Why It Matters for Play Therapy

At its core, play therapy is about creating a safe space for children to express what they may not have words for. Boys, in particular, are often socialised to suppress emotions or act out instead of talking about what’s going on inside.

Biddulph’s work helps parents and caregivers understand that:

• Boys need support to learn emotional language.

• Play is a natural outlet for processing emotions, especially anger, fear, and sadness.

• Connected, calm adults both male and female can help boys regulate and reflect through play.

In other words, play isn't just fun it’s therapeutic. And this book supports that truth beautifully.

Reflection Questions for Parents

If you're a parent reading Raising Boys or thinking about your son’s emotional world, here are some questions to consider:

1. How does my son express his emotions through play?

Pay attention to recurring themes in his games or drawings. Is there frustration? A desire for control? Acts of caregiving or bravery?

2. Do I allow enough time for free, unstructured play?

Play that's not about winning or achieving but simply exploring is essential for emotional regulation and self-expression.

3. What messages is my son receiving about emotions like sadness, fear, or vulnerability?

Does he feel safe expressing those feelings, or is he learning to “tough it out”?

4. Who are the emotionally available male figures in his life?

Biddulph emphasises the impact of positive male role models not just authority figures, but men who can connect emotionally and playfully.

5. Am I modelling emotional expression during play?

When adults engage in play and show emotions safely: frustration, joy, empathy, children learn it's okay to do the same.

Takeaway for Playful Parenting

What we love about Raising Boys is that it validates what play therapists have known for years: boys don’t need to be “fixed” or toughened up they need to be understood, seen, and supported through every messy, magical stage of growing up.

Play is one of the most powerful tools you have to build that connection.

So next time your son invites you to join his game no matter how chaotic or silly say yes. It might be the doorway to a deeper conversation, a moment of healing, or simply a much-needed giggle.

Content developed with the assistance of ChatGPT, an AI language model by OpenAI. Adapted for this website by Humanistic Therapy Hub.